I’ve NEVER been a girly girl. I’ve always kept that side of me hidden unless, I was either alone in my own home and could watch Princess and The Frog or if I was babysitting because I think little girls should grow up to expect beautifulness in their lives.
It wasn’t until recently a wild thought cross my mind about myself…. I’m a princess. Halt! Slam on the breaks! STOP (Spin tires on pavement!) I’m not a princess!!! I’ve never: had a bumper sticker that said “Obey the princess”, a necklace in unreadable writing with “princess” scribbled across a chain, or ever owned a single pink, furry, glittery, leopard (besides Malvern Leopards) printed item, or anything that remotely said “princess” or that would tie me to it. I’ve MIGHT have worn a tiara a time or two playing dress up with kids, loved New Kids on the Block, and have a major love for all things hot pink but even still for as long as I can remember, I’ve never been the girly girl princess type. Oh, and I don’t even like kittens…they freak me out! Give me a big ol’ dog I can rough house with.
I was the opposite; the roll your sleeves up, let’s play in the dirt, pull my hair up in a pony tail, run with the boys in a pair of work boots and jeans, and get muddy kind of girl. There was nothing glamorous about that. And when I got older and into the 90’s I was in love with baggy skater jeans, all things plaid, and grunge look. I was severely sad when plaid pj bottoms were taken off the dress code list in high school…and will add my current obsessed with black nail polish to the list.
Once in a counseling session for something a counselor told me that my “need to be masculine” was suppressing some traumatic events that occurred when I was a child and this was my way to shield myself from allowing anyone to see me as a feminine woman. That was my first visit…and my last with her. Because, while certain events did happen in my life as a child, it doesn’t mean that my strong dislike for kittens and all things pale pink princess related are due to my fear of someone seeing me as a woman.
It’s also made me re-watch old movies, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Princess and the Frog, Mulan and multitude of others with fresh eyes and new thoughts.
Cinderella-she had to listen to two of her step-siblings nag her about all the things they needed, she was locked up in an attic unless she was working, she finished her duties in a dutiful way and gathered all the scraps from her sisters dresses and made her-her own dress (or the mice did!) but then the sisters rip it off her leaving her in a greater amount of rags than before.
Sleeping Beauty was most likely cursed by the whole town because once the wicked fairy puts her spell over on her, the king forbids spinning on spinning-wheels or spindles, or the possession of one, throughout the kingdom. She was still led right to one and faced her fate of the wicked fairy and thus begins her sleeping for 100 hundred years-until the Prince finds her and awakens her with his kiss.
Snow White was sent off with the huntsmen to have her heart cut out, happens upon a cabin full of seven dwarf men who she ends up taking care of. (That alone makes me huff! And I’m not even married woman.) She’s then tricked into eating an apple out of the goodness of her heart by the wicked queen and she too is left to sleep until the curse is lifted by true loves kiss.
Princess and The Frog-won my heart over with the modern story of a girl “princess” who puts all her hard work into something, gives up and sacrifices things that most girls her age wouldn’t so she can fulfill a dream. She wasn’t noticed until she accidently puts on a friends fancy dress and tiara. Talk about a slap in the face! The aloof prince who was tricked by the Voodoo Man earlier and was now a talking frog; thinks that this girl really is a princess and request her kiss in exchange for money to help pay towards her dream. She ends turning her into a frog herself by giving in and kissing the frog. This sends them on a journey ride through the bayou on a talking trumpet-playing alligator to Mama Odies house-can you tell this is my favorite story. It wasn’t until the two could see each other for which they were themselves and as each other in their frog likeness did they actually turn into the human form.
We have Mulan who was just an awesome fighter, end of story in my book... And it was there that I learned that maybe there is something I’m missing along with the rest of the world about being a “princess” because I’m pretty sure that the harsh moment with reality…”Good thing you don’t like princesses because you couldn’t handle being one!” and then the second thought…”But you are a princess-a child of the mightiest King of all, the King of Kings!”
I would have flipped my lid at any of these situations! I couldn’t handle cleaning up after others with the gentleness of some of these, the only one that could probably do, because I’m just accident prone would be prick my finger on a spinning wheel and sleep for 100 years-but even then, I’m sure I’d wake up ever so impatiently on day one for my prince and end up kissing a frog and then be stuck in frog form for 100 years! There is no way I could have put on armor and fought in a battle like a man as did Mulan. Each of these women were not the pink princess that Disney makes them out to be. Even Bell in Beauty and the Beast, was a book nerd!
Also, for those who do love kittens and "princess" gear...hate to break it to you but it's not about "obey the princess" and getting everything you want. That would be more of the wicked stepmother, fairy, or witch roll if you really think about it. And it makes me wonder just when and where how all this changed over the years to become "All about Me Princess"
God has put into all of his children, whether you are male or female for either the sense of an adventure and to be a part of something bigger (women) or the sense of something (one) to fight for (men). These girls were roll your sleeves back and lets dig into the mud…but they had something I don’t often have, they had a smile and joy in their trials. They had something that put them on the path with a great adventure and required a man who they didn’t ask to want to help them in their current situations, want to help them, to fight for them.
May we become women, Gods true “princesses” who have a joy in our hearts on days when we have to roll back our sleeves to do the tough dirty work and men who want to fight for the beauty that we see before us.
Dear God-
So, often, I’m lead to believe that I am having to take on more than what a single woman in her 30s should have to take on alone, but I know that each trial, tribulation, trouble, and hardship that requires me to roll back my sleeves and dig in is something that I just should have to do. Please help me to remember to have joy and be pleasant, to remember that You are using these things to shape me into a woman who is stronger in her faith and has a more grounded understanding when those around me need someone to understand them. Help me to stop pressing those feelings that I don’t want to be “princess” as an excuse to not step out in faith and start those journeys that you for me. Help me become a beauty worth finding and a beauty worth fighting for.
In Jesus Holy Name-
Amen.
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